Saturday, August 30, 2014


How does one let go of guilt?

It is a question that many of us struggle to answer. Does it just have to do with the piling of time on top of something so that it remains buried in one's psyche for all eternity. Or must we face it head on and somehow that facing of it deteriorates it and dis-empowers it?

I have found that time numbs the pain of guilt if you let it take its course. But that even though the pain might be numbed, it still reappears, like a phantasm, within things in our everyday life that remind us of that guilt. It literally haunts our psyche and our psyche replays the guilt over and over, from every angle, trying to figure out if there ever was a better way to do things.

When I broke up with my ex, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was filled with existential dread because I knew deep down that I was making a decision that would affect my life in a rippling effect to be felt for ages and ages hence. When we are at the crossroads of a decision and we cannot see past the choice we are about to make. Then fear grapples at our throats and we must place our trust in our most innate knowledge of ourselves to somehow feel our way through the darkness into the light.

What does this mean you may ask? It means making a decision and trusting in your own judgement. It means stepping out of indecision and into action. The road you chose may lead you into more misery and despair or it may lead you to a happier place. But whatever it leads you to, you must be prepared to take responsibility for your actions, and accept life in its absurdity.

Maybe that's how we get over guilt. By embracing the randomness of life and by acknowledging that we are all accountable human beings, feeling our way through the dark.